I’m utterly exhausted at the moment. Haven’t had the energy to blog. Can’t wait for the Christmas break. Can’t make sentences very well and don’t really have the mental capacity to say anything anywhere near intelligent so forgive me whilst I have a little rant.
It’s not just work. Prince Charming’s business is struggling and I’m feeling the pressure to support him, I don’t mind doing it at all, I will do anything I can to help him and if it means listening when needed I happily do it. It’s just quite a pressure.
Added to that is that Prince Charming’s best friend’s mum has terminal cancer. She is like a second mum to Prince Charming and he’s – understandably – taking it hard. I’ve tried to encourage him to go and see her but I think he’s pushing it to the back of his mind. I just don’t want him to leave it too late. He fell out with his best friend and wasn’t in touch for a long while. I think he’s feeling pretty guilty about it. Again, I just want to do anything I can but it’s bringing back memories of my Dad and making me so sad. I’m crying now. I do it in secret though, don’t want Prince Charming to think that I’m making this about me, or that he can’t share for fear of upsetting me. Again pressure.
Finally, I found out on Wednesday that one of my very good friends from uni has testicular cancer. He caught it early and is going to be fine but he’s having his last round of chemo this week and I know that he’s going to feel just awful. I wish someone I love didn’t have to go through it all. It makes me sad for him that he has to go through it.
I’ve said it before but I really do try to think of everything happening for a reason but when you here these awful stories about how cancer – and the treatment for it – ravages people it’s very hard to see what the reasoning is. Everything’s so sad at the moment!
And then I have to go into work and pretend that I care about something that is really, in the grand scheme of things, meaningless.
More cheerful, festive post coming as soon as I get that festive feeling back.